Grizelda lounged contentedly on her couch, her belly fairly bursting with Halloween booty. As usual, a few overage trick-or-treaters had stopped by, and made the mistake of being wise asses. It's not smart to piss off a real witch, especially on Halloween. Now, ten of the unfortunate mischief makers were slowly digesting in Grizelda's steamy gut.

She had shrunk and eaten five of them on the spot, and saved the other five for a little snack the next day. She'd washed them down with a fine bottle of Chardonnay. She had a full belly and a good buzz, and was eager to kick back and watch her favorite TV show, "Sabrina the Teenage Witch".

She turned on the TV, and shrieked in rage at what she heard.

"Sabrina won't be seen tonight so that we can bring you the following paid political announcement from George W. Bush."

"Hi, I'm George W. Bush, and I'd like to tell you about my vision for America."

"You Prick!!!", Grizelda screamed in disbelief as she switched off the TV. "Why pick my favorite show to preempt? Well, you can sure as hell kiss MY vote goodbye."

Suddenly the phone rang, and Grizelda, still steaming, answered.

"Hi. This is General Norman Schwarzkopf, and I'd like to tell you why I'm voting for George W. Bush for President next Tuesday."

"Aaaaarrrggghhhh" Grizelda howled as she slammed the phone into it's cradle. "If one more thing happens to piss me off, someone's gonna pay big time!!!"

She decided to blow off watching TV, and take a nice warm, relaxing bath instead. She'd only been in the water for a couple of minutes when the phone rang again. After 10 rings, Grizelda figured it must be an important call. She wrapped a towel around herself and ran into the living room to answer the phone.

"Hello," she said.

"HI, this is Al Gore, and I'd like the chance to fight for you and all of middle class America. Won't you please vote for me next Tuesday?"

Grizelda immediately hung the phone up, her face a bright crimson.

"That does it!! I've had enough of this bullshit!!! I think it's time I pay those two bozos a little visit!!!!"

She changed into her black traveling clothes, hopped on her magic broom, and swooshed off into the moonlit sky.

In Minneapolis, George W. Bush was laying on the BS hot and heavy at a political rally. "I don't care what the polls say, I know we can win in Minnesota next Tuesday!!!."

The crowd roared it's approval. They barely noticed the darkly clad woman who quietly entered the rear of room. She waved her hand, and suddenly everyone froze, unable to move a muscle. She walked briskly to the podium and waved her hand again. This time, Dubya shrank to a height of one inch. She picked him up in her hand, unfroze him, and stared at his trembling figure with flashing green eyes.

"Ok prick, it's time to pay for fucking with Grizelda!!"

She opened her mouth and dangled the terrified candidate over her saliva drenched orifice. She barely heard his muffled screams as she dropped him head first onto her tongue. His face smashed into the wall of her throat, and he screamed again as he looked down and saw her esophagus opening up to accept him. Just to be mean, she snorted, and a huge green wad of snot came cascading down on top of his head. Then she closed her mouth and swallowed him. In seconds, he fell head first into her stomach. He opened his mouth to gasp for air, and it was immediately filled with some sort of unspeakable slimy ooze.

"Daddy, help me!!", he yelled.

"Daddy isn't getting you out of THIS jam, asshole!!" she cackled, as she hopped onto her broom and zoomed off to her next destination. "One down and one to go!! Ah hahahahaha!!!"

In sunny Florida, Al Gore was in his glory as he sucked up to hundreds of cheering senior citizens.

"Vote for me and I'll make sure that Social Security will always be there for you. My opponent will loot the Social Security trust fund and give it all to the wealthiest one percent of Americans!!"

He was in mid sentence when he noticed a strange lady waving her arms and chanting mysteriously. As in Minnesota, the crowd froze in it's tracks. Grizelda strode swiftly to where the Democratic candidate stood paralyzed. A wave of her hand, and he too shrank to a height of one inch. She picked him up in her hand and unfroze him. He immediately dropped to his knees in horror at the sight of the glistening white teeth in front of him.

"You know, Al, I don't think you and George spend nearly enough time discussing your differences man to man. That's why I've arranged for you guys to spend some quality time together .... IN MY STOMACH!!!"

She tossed the helpless candidate into the air. He could only look down and gasp as she maneuvered her yawning mouth beneath him. He plummeted between her lips, landed butt first on her tongue, and quickly became lodged between her plump tonsils. She easily turned him around with her tongue until he too was looking down her throat in horror. Then she closed her mouth, smiled, and sent the man from Tennessee hurtling down her gullet to gastric oblivion.

Dubya was huddled in a corner of Grizelda's stomach when he heard a squeezing noise emanating from above him. Suddenly, something dropped on top of him and he screamed, though he knew it would do him no good.

"George, is that you?"

"Al? Don't tell me she ate you too!!"

"Yea. Damn, doesn't this SUCK!! I had the crowd eating out of my hands when she had to show up!! Florida was MINE!!!"

"As usual, Al, you're full of crap. Always exaggerating. You had a snowball's chance in hell of winning Florida. Your ass was MINE, and you know it!!

"Why you pissant little runt, I've been wanting to kick your ass for months, and now's as good a time as any. Where the hell are you so I can shove my foot up your butt!!"

"You and what army, you commie pig!!"

Grizelda heard the commotion going on in her belly, and decided enough was enough. She'd suspended her stomach's production of acid in hopes that their dire situation would inspire the two candidates to iron out their differences. Obviously, that wasn't going to happen.

"OK boys, you had your chance. I was going to pewk you back up if you behaved, but you both fucked things up as usual. Now, it's digestion time!!!"

The walls of her stomach began churning, tossing the two helpless candidates around in a steaming acid and bile bath. Before long, their political differences were only a memory as the fragments of their disintegrating bodies were mixed into a slimy broth, and expelled into Grizelda's intestines for further processing."

"Well, boys, at least I found a way to bring you closer together. AH hahahahahaha!!

She jumped on her broom and headed home, her mission accomplished. "At least those two assholes won't be bothering me or anyone else anymore!!"

When she got home, the first thing she did was look at the TV Guide.

"All right, Oprah's on!!"

She poured herself another glass of wine, laid down on the couch, and switched on the TV."

"Attention, all regularly scheduled programming has been canceled tonight so that we can bring you continuing coverage of the apparent eating of the two major party candidates by a mysterious woman. Now, here's Dan Rather!!"

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!"